If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
