Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
