we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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