That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
