Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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