I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
