Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
