she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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