i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
