I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
