What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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