After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
