Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
