I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
How does it feel to date your dad?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
