end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
