I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize