I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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