Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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