mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
