So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
