I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
wow bdsm is so cute
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
