what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
