I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
