he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
It's never too late to be topless.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
