i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
