farters have to be the big spoon...
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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