Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
