the new term for farting is butt boxing.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
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