i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
We got so high we made milksteak
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
