So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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