Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
