I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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