I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize