you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
