dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
this just has baby written all over it
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
