Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
