clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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