I like to think it a success when the cops are called
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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