I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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