i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
