They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
