Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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