she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize