If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
