"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
