ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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