Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
