He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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