Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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