I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
If its not for food we ain't going out.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
