i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
