we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
