She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
