this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
