So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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