belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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