I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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