He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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