New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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