It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
