piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
