For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
