He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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